Monthly Archives: March 2016

When?

If not now, then when. 

When?

When_Blog

When are you going to take that chance. When are you going to make a change. When are you going to commit to something. When are you going to jump.

When are you going to say yes. When are you going to say no. When are you going to say maybe.

When are you going to pause. When are you going to stop. When are you going to take a deep breath. When are you going to pick your head up and look around.

When are you going to go. When are you going to run. When are you going to really really go for it.

When.

Is there anything you have been waiting to do? Is there anything you have been putting off because the timing isn’t right? Or you don’t have the space? Or you don’t have the time? Or the money? Or the health? Or the guts?

(I cannot take credit for this image. I found it awhile ago and have absolutely no idea where it came from. I have looked for the original source and cannot find it. This is my reproduction. I am grateful to whoever originally made this because it has stuck with me and I love it.) 

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Ch-ch-ch-changes.

Change is hard. Really really hard.

Even if you make up your mind and commit to the change it can be really hard to stick to it.

Changes_Blog

Imagine you are living your life. Day to day to day. And imagine that if you were to pull back and look at your life from above it would look like a crazy, twisty-turny racetrack. It would follow mostly the same path over and over, and that path would be a deep groove worn into the ground. And then sometimes that path would deviate and there would be a shallower groove that cut off from the main path and then returned to it. And you would essentially be walking this groove or path or route over and over.

Then. You make a change.  A big change. A little change. I don’t think the size of the change really matters. But you decide to disrupt this groove you are accustomed to traveling. You start to dig a new path. And that is a lot harder than just walking the same groove over and over. It requires a lot more effort.

So it doesn’t seem unreasonable that you might slip back into the old groove. And give up on the change.

Maybe you actually DO dig your new path and you are heading out in new directions. That change, that new path, it could be anything. Maybe you decided to eat healthier. Perhaps you changed the way you interact with someone important in your life. Or maybe you gave up a habit that was not very healthy for you. Perhaps you decided to take 5 minutes to meditate every morning. Maybe you decided to wear yellow socks every day of the week. The actual change does not matter so much as the commitment to it.

Because here is the thing I have noticed with change. You are chugging along in your new groove, pushing ahead, and then all of a sudden you run into the old groove. The deeper, smoother, more established groove that has been there for a much longer time. And it might be so much easier to just slip back into that groove… Smooth, established groove versus rough, uncut stone.

And I think that is how relapse happens. I think that is how we start out with really good intentions and then we slip. Every time we run into that old groove or pattern or rut we have to recommit to the change we have made. EVERY. TIME. Otherwise the change does not stick. The new path does not prevail.

So every time we confront the old path and choose to stay on the new one we get a little bit stronger. We break the old mold and we cement the new one. But what I am learning about change is that I have to keep recommitting to the change every day. Because I might go 2-3 weeks without bumping into the old groove, or maybe only 2-3 hours or maybe even 2-3 years, and every time I have to keep reaffirming that I want to stay on the new path. Over and over.

And if I were my own best friend I would tell myself to stay strong. Stay on the new path. Keep digging the new groove. Stay vigilant. The old path will come back (again and again and again). Keep flexing those muscles of change. Because the transformation is worth it.

Quality.

If I were my own best friend I would tell myself…

…just write and publish something already. Come on. Just put something out there. Pub-lish. It does not exist if it is not published. COME. ON. Do it. (think of “do it” in an Arnold Schwarzenegger ala Terminator voice)

So here’s the thing. I have a lot (A LOT) of drafts for this blog. Posts that sounded great in my head… then I put them on paper. And something happens between what is in my head and what comes out on the page. Something gets lost. There is a bermuda triangle of authenticity-and-voice that occurs somewhere in between my brain and my hands. Poof. I read the post back and it just does not read right. (Sometimes it even blows. A lot.)

So I keep those things as drafts. Because maybe I will come back to them. And maybe the next time there will be a spark. And then, I don’t publish anything. And there is no spark. And the drafts just continue to build up and the posts do not. No publishing.

But the deal is I really really believe in the importance of quality. And I know you can make an argument for “quantity will lead to quality” – it’s one of those practice things. The more I write and publish the better I will get at it. Just put something out there. But I can’t. I find myself completely stymied. It needs to sound like me. Otherwise, what’s the point of this blog?!?! So, quality is better than quantity.

Then I’m back to square one again. And staring at drafts that seemed like good ideas then fizzled on paper. And the question is – “is it better to publish something marginal, then to publish nothing at all?” Or, is it better to wait and only publish the things that really read “true” to me. Because technically it’s all true and all my voice because I am the only one writing. (Hmmm. Welcome to my brain. Running away screaming yet?)

So today, this may not be my best quality ever. But it is my best for today. Because today my best is showing up. Putting words on paper. And publishing something . Sometimes you’ve just got to do it.