So here are the basics on how this blog usually works. First, I think about something I want to write about. I ponder on it for a few days. Then I write. Next I draw. Then I revise the writing a bit based on the drawing. Finally I publish it.
But it turns out that is not working right now. I started a new job and I cannot find brain space to ponder something I would want to write about on this blog. That does not mean my brain is empty, it just means it is empty of “if i were my own best friend” thoughts. (I know there’s a post to ponder hidden in this paragraph I just don’t have the bandwidth to think on it right now.)
But I enjoy blogging and I miss posting things in this space. So today I tried something different. I started with drawing and figured I would then write about whatever I drew. I was kind of curious to see what might show up on paper since I cannot seem to clear the brain clutter to form a coherent thought these days. And this is what came out…
Well, I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist or a brain-analyzer-certified type of person. But I think this pretty clearly illustrates where I am at right now (and yes I know I am interpreting my own drawing… feel free to interpret another way and let me know what you come up with in the comments!).
I am adrift. In some really deep water. And I am looking for life rafts or a branch to hang onto. And every once in awhile I find my rhythm and I swim (vs. float and look for life rafts). And I know that somewhere out there in the distance is a safe island to land on (with a palm tree!).
And this is my work-life right now. This is why I cannot seem to find brain space to focus and write something meaningful here. I am adrift in a world of new and different and do not have any firm ground to stand on yet. It will get better (the island is out there somewhere) and I know I just need to keep seeking out life rafts each day. I know I should focus more on the moments I am able to swim as well as learn from the moments I need a raft. But it is really hard and exhausting right now. And I just do not want to make a major mistake.
Have you found yourself adrift lately? Have you found yourself hunting for stable ground and struggling to find the next life raft? Have you found a life raft one day and then come back the next day to find that raft is gone and you have start all over?
Well, if you answered yes to any of those questions, please know you are not alone! I am there with you.
And if I were my own best friend I would tell myself – let’s find each other! Let’s hold each other up. Let’s trade secrets on how to stay afloat. Let’s take turns paddling the raft. And when we get to the island let’s share a really big margarita and a plate of fried coconut shrimp.
Keep on paddling!